put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
