My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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