Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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