Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
