I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
