YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
