come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
