i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
