Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
