So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think my vagina is haunted
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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