I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
