if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
