You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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