you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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