i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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