To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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