"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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