we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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