His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
