I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
