I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she smelled like a LAN party
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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