my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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