sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
