i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
