I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
