I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How drunk are you?
Completed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
