oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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