omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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