Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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