so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
