thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Someone came in the potted fern
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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