I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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