Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
