I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
birth control should be required to get into college
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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