I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
