Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
