As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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