Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
