Dual....:-)
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
