Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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