Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
