his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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