You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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