Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
