I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
