it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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