Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
