i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
