I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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