M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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